#I cannot wrap my mind around why you would think that’s okay to say to somebody

[mcrcki]

"okay, but they have got to make better tasting ones, right? i mean, how many kriffing bars are there in this city alone! all of those drinks cannot taste this bad." granted, it wasn't as if kaya had ever tried any of them, the one time she did try to buy a drink from altair, he nearly kicked them out.. "is it that gross back home too?" there was a mixture of genuine curiosity, and a lingering sadness that came with asking questions about things that seemed so.. basic. kaya never got to experience any of it, any normalcy in their life.. their normal was training and missions and emotional control to a point where feeling anything could be seen as a fault.. "just let me be sorry that you had a shitty childhood because of me, kriya, kriff." she grabbed the bottle back from their sister, the burn getting easier to deal with with each sip, even if they couldn't quite stop themself from grimacing at first. talking about their childhood though, the few memories that had been buried, snapshots of moments popped up as kriya explained. "the vase was that sickly green color, right?" why that had been the thing to stick out, they didn't know. but it was something, wasn't it? it was better than forgetting everything all together. "i was always told i was given up, that our parents knew what i was and wanted me to train.. it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that they used mind tricks to force our parents to give us up." unlearning so many of the lies they were told, while still trying to hold onto their own love for the jedi was.. difficult, to say the least. "brinna and i are cool now, i just figured.. i don't know, that none of us would ever talk." they had really accepted that kriya would hate them, that this was a relationship they could never salvage. they had to accept that kriya and their parents probably wouldn't salvage a relationship either and they couldn't meddle with that, as much as they kriffing wanted to. "i was being myself! i wasn't being a brat!" they pointed out, though they paused with the bottle at their lips at the next comment. "okay, one, i think drinking this whole bottle will kill me, so not doing that. and two, now you just made this way more interesting so i'm not picking another question."

"the flavor of it is not the point, little sister." kriya replies, shaking her head. if she wanted to drink something that tasted good, she wouldn't be downing anything right out of a bottle, she'd be paying a ridiculous amount of money for some pretentious cocktail. "years and years of practice." and was it healthy to admit that so casually? no, not at all. was it healthy to do it? definitely not. but she wasn't going to sit there and lie to kaya about how she coped. the whole point of drinking in the first place was so they could have an open and honest conversation. "how would you know? you didn’t know anything about us." and that's really where the resentment comes in. that she'd never been allowed to even see her sister. they could have been trained and still lived at home with their family, but the jedi wouldn't allow such a thing in their loyal peacekeepers. "no, we hid it for a few months, and mom and dad didn't figure it out until the jedi showed up to take you away." the vase shattering without either of them touching it had terrified her, she'd known what that had meant even as a child, and she'd sworn kaya to secrecy, keeping it just between the two of them until the knights arrived at their home. "brinna didn't like you because of the jedi thing. she knows the whole story with me and mom and dad, they're bitter on my behalf, and i love her for it." she won't apologize for her best friend taking on her problems, just as she takes on brinna's. they'd always done it for each other, and they always would. but kaya agreeing with her request has kriya giving her sister a faint smile, grateful that she won't have to argue with them about their parents any longer. "thank you." she replies, more sincere than she'd been in most any other conversation with kaya. "you were being a brat, i'm not going to apologize." if it hadn't turned out to be kaya, she wouldn't have had a single regret in the entire thing, so she wasn't going to lie about feeling bad. though kaya's question does draw her up short. "either pick another question, or finish that bottle and then ask me, kaya."

[boneless-mika]

“I’ve been trying to cut down on sugar”

“I really need to lose weight”

“Oh I don’t eat [thing you’re currently eating], it’s so bad for you”

Kill me now!! I don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you I don’t want to hear about your diet. Do I have to start immediately leaving social situations for you to learn that it hurts me? Because clearly it wasn’t enough when I told you off or when I cried or when I didn’t eat anything for the rest of the day. Literally what will it take for you not to talk about your diets with me?

[heavenbarnes]

okay hear me out— softness and gentle topics aside, how would older bf!simon go about discussing his mom & Tommy? would it ever occur? Would it be a vulnerable and gentle discussion with sins laid on the table or would it be like pulling teeth— panic attack arises and the words are spewing.

at first I’d have headcanoned it that maybe we innocently question the clinginess but I’m not so sure anymore; feels like that would just be second nature for the two.

i’ve never ventured into this topic because it’s literally so devastating that i almost considered writing it out of canon for him- but it’s time 🫶🏼 (massive tw for family loss)

the day older bf!simon tells you about his family, it’s at breakfast.

he’d made the food and you’d made the coffee, both expertly passing each other in your kitchen until you’d settled at the table.

when he told you, you had toast hanging out your mouth.

“pardon?”

“i had a family”

you weren’t really talking about anything in particular, so you made quick mental work of skimming over your conversation until you found where this was coming from.

sunny outside, nice day, should go to the farmers market, get groceries, it’ll be crowded, family day-

i had a family

had.

oh.

your heart had start to speed up in your chest and part of you was scared simon’s military precision hearing would be able to tell.

judging by the look on his face, distant, quiet- he couldn’t hear the thrumming against your sternum.

you were thankful, it meant he kept speaking.

“my mum and my brother, tommy- he had a missus too and a kid”

had.

oh god.

he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze drifted out the window and onto the birds that were floating over the fruit tree in the backyard.

you couldn’t say there was much of you to look at, a hardline of your mouth and eyes that were willing themselves not to water.

“they weren’t in a good way- but i helped them get better”

the corners of your lips quirked reflexively but it fell away just as quickly, unable to escape the voice in the back of your head that kept saying the same thing.

had.

why is every thing in the past tense?

probably for the same reason this is the first time you’re hearing this story. when is the right time to get to this part?

the moment he cuts the rope, lets you down from where he’s had you hanging- you wish you could react in any other way.

instead, your mouth hangs open while your hand does its best to cover it.

the toast goes cold, so does the coffee.

the tears break through of their own accord.

and he still won’t look at you.

“oh, simon”

your mind races in a way you’ve never felt before, thoughts you’d never had before rising to the surface.

first, you want to hurt someone, anyone- whoever you can blame for doing this to simon.

(you quickly realise he’s probably already done that)

second, you want to take him by the shoulders and tell him that this was never his fault.

that there was nothing he did or could’ve done to deserve this.

and you’re sure that there’s layers to his job and things he’s done and seen that’d make him think that cannot be true.

but you don’t care- there is no human alive that could ever deserve what you’ve just been told.

you don’t care.

you love him.

third, you start to make sense of some of simon’s behaviours.

the way he calls your name when you’re at the other end of the house, just to know where you are.

the way you can turn around at any given moment and find him closer than your shadow.

the way he calls you on deployment only to hear you tell him you love him and you’re still home waiting.

the way he cannot exist without a hand on you, without knowing where you are, without knowing you’re still his.

and there you go again, wanting to hurt whoever put him in this position.

grateful to be able to love him how he needs but angry- blind rage in knowing what he went through to get to this point.

it’s why you’re out of your seat and wrapping your arms around his shoulders the minute you hear even a sniff.

you let him ruin your shirt with tears as strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you so close into him you wouldn’t be at all surprised if the particles shifted just enough for you to become one.

as if you weren’t already.

you’d never, never ever, questioned simon’s ever present need to be close. you’d come to accept it, enjoy it, miss it when he was gone.

it was never overbearing, never out of line, always right when you needed it.

reminding you that he was there.

that he loved you.

that he needed you.

just as much as you needed him.

and god, did he need to be needed.

did he need you to pass him the pickle jar (even when you could open it just fine)

did he need you to make him take the rubbish out (when you could do it yourself)

did he need you to call him when the car was making a funny sound (when you knew it was the fan belt)

did you need him to pull you into his lap at the end of a long day and rest his lips against the crown of your head as he rubbed slow circles into your back.

like you were doing for him now.

“simon, i just need you to know- i’m not going anywhere”

you made it to the farmer’s market, eventually. it was crowded, meaning simon’s arm never let your waist.

not that you mind.

not that you ever mind.

[iuspired]

confessions - suna rintarou

about: DEFINITELY ooc but we don’t talk about that 😙 just you nd ur bsf sunarin catching up as per usual with tea to spill from the past 😝 we love to see it!

a/n: i wrote this awhile ago actually🫣 im fully done w finals………. idk what to think im so scared for the future. also trying diff formats and will actually work on my navi post during the summer so bare w me lol. anyways thank u for all the love on my last post mwahhh <3

“you know i used to have a crush on you?” you say, in between bites of your food.

you and your childhood best friend, suna rintarou, are at your promised monthly hangout, which ended up only being every couple months because your universities were far away from each other, so you both settled to meet up whenever your breaks overlapped. but it didn’t matter to you either way because you texted each other almost every other day. whether it was a tiktok link or an 8 ball.

“you used to what?” he replies, mouth agape as he sets his chopsticks down.

“i mean, it wasn’t a huge crush,” you say, … “maybe i was gaslighting myself but we were really close back then y’know?”

“oh? why didn’t you ask me out then?”

“mmm not sure. i guess..” you think about it. it was probably because starting high school, girls were all over him. it was also probably because those same girls would come up to you. passive aggressively ask if you were his girlfriend. you’d reply with a lighthearted laugh, “noo! we’re just close friends. he’s all yours if you want him.” maybe it was because he wouldn’t reciprocate any of the interest and love he received. he always replied, saying something along the lines of ‘oh i’m focusing on school” or just a simple, “i’m not interested”

it was mostly though, because you thought he’d reject you if you initiated something. and not wanting to ruin the relationship you had already built throughout the years, you suppress your feelings.

“you guess?”

“fear of rejection?” you laugh nervously.

“you think i would’ve rejected you?” he asks. he tilts his head, raising his eyebrows, giving you a look as if you were supposed to know.

“you had no interest for anyone so… i mean. i-” you stammer. fuck, why did i even bring this up?!

“well, believe it or not, i too, had a crush on my bestfriend.”

and just like that, you almost spit out your drink. “sorry, you- you liked me?”

“and that’s so surprising because?” he questions.

he really cannot wrap his head around this, huh. “you turned everyone and their mother down? mr. i’m too focused on school and i’m not interested? i could only assume that i was not wanted.”

“but did i ever directly say that to you?”

“no, but you wouldn’t need to. i listened when you rejected their advances, i can take a hint y’know.”

he sighed. “if you had asked me out back then, my answer would be different.”

“really?” you ask.

“really.”

you raise your eyebrows as you sip your drink.

“don’t believe me? you can try me now.” he smirks, flashing the smile you had fallen for back then, and you almost fold right then and there. though despite his confident demeanor, the slight rosy tint on his cheeks gives his nervousness away.

“oh? it’s almost as if you want me to ask you out.”

he playfully rolls his eyes. “okay, so maybe i do, but only if you want to..”

you do your best to suppress a smile as your cheeks turn into the same rosy color.

“here goes. ahem.. i uh-” your mind goes blank.

“wait so.. how do you ask someone out?”

“well, i’ve never asked someone out before because they always ask me” he winks.

you playfully roll your eyes.

“don’t overthink it. it’s just me right?”

you almost forgot. it’s just rin. the same rin who’s always there for you. but this is different.

“right.. i say this in almost all your birthday cards but you’re truly my rock in life, and i reaally want to be yours, and maybe more so.. may i be your girlfriend, suna rintarou?”

“well, if you insist i guess,” he shrugs.

“wooooww.. i see how it is” you say, crossing your arms teasingly.

“r-rin..” he catches you off-guard as he takes your hand in his.

“yeess?” he grins.

you remove your hands, immediately missing the warmth from his hands.

“first date jitters?” he chuckles.

“this is our first date?”

“technically, i guess, but-“

“no way this is our official first date. i’m wearing sweats!” you exclaim, looking down at what you’re wearing.

“i don’t see an issue, you always look pretty in anything you wear.”

“th- thanks,” you blurt out. well that’s new.

but it’s something you could deeefinitely get used to.

[atypicalamortentia]

Sex Pollen Part Two || Severus Snape

Synopsis - You hadn't seen your old potions Professor since that day and you were becoming increasingly worried for him. You go to his classroom one evening to make sure he was okay. You certainly didn't expect what was to come.

Warnings - NSFW.

Notes - Reader is 18+!

Word Count - 2.1k.

Part One Here.

{Caffeinate Me}

It had been a few days since your ‘incident’ with the potions Professor. Pomona had told you exactly what Severus had told her later that evening after he had ‘run his tests’ - that the clear liquid inside the vial was a sex pollen. You pretended to be surprised, exclaiming that you didn’t know such a thing existed. Pomona was stunned and equally as confused as to how such a thing managed to find its way into her greenhouses. A thorough investigation was to be held with Headmaster Dumbledore, but that didn’t concern you. 

You were currently sitting in the Great Hall for the evening feast. Your eyes wandered around the room, scanning the students and colleagues that you had come to know so well when your eyes settled on an empty chair. Severus’ empty chair. You hadn’t seen him since that day and to say you were becoming slightly concerned was an understatement. You made a mental note to go to his classroom after the feast for a welfare check. Until then, you joined in the festivities and leaned into the gossip taking place at the Professor’s table. When the feast was over you waited for all of the students to leave for their common rooms before taking your leave. With a polite nod and a smile, you excused yourself from the other Professor's company and made haste for the dungeons. 

You wrapped your robes around you as you walked into the dungeons. The air was so cold and the atmosphere was so gloomy that you wondered why Severus spent all of his time down here away from everyone else. It was no surprise that he was as stoic as he was. You walked swiftly to the potions classroom door and knocked. When there was no response in the form of a droning ‘come in’ from the other side, you peaked your head around the door. It appeared to be empty. You frowned and stepped into the room, looking around at the dimly lit space. “Severus?” You asked quietly, walking further into the room. You waited patiently for a response but none came. You walked towards Severus’ desk as if he would appear out of thin air, when you noticed parchment scattered amongst the tabletop. You knew you shouldn’t, but you couldn’t help but snoop. Your hands reached out to touch the brown parchment, gently rubbing the corner between your thumbs as you read the contents: 

My dearest, 

Since that day, I’ve not stopped thinking about you. I cannot get you out of my head. Every night before I go to sleep, I think about you. Every morning when I wake up, I think about you. 

I fear that I am falling in love with you. 

Your eyes widened. Severus was in love with someone? You felt your heart clench slightly at the thought. Since that fateful day, your feelings for him had grown. Your desire for him developed into something you had never known before and you didn’t think it could ever be quenched. Feeling yourself stumble backwards slightly, you grasped the chair that was pushed under the desk to keep yourself upright as countless thoughts spun around your mind. You were so preoccupied with the parchment in your hand that you failed to notice the classroom door had slammed shut and a figure was walking furiously towards you. The parchment was yanked out of your hand before you even had time to realise what was going on and you looked up to see Severus looming over you. “What are you doing here?” He asked coldly, looking you up and down with an apparent disdain. 

You shuffled awkwardly on the spot before wrapping your robes further around your freezing body. “I-I came to see if you were okay. I haven’t seen you since…” Your voice trailed off. He knew what you meant. 

“I’m fine,” he snapped, pointing at the classroom door. “Now leave.” 

“You’re in love with someone,” you mumble, motioning towards the parchment in his hand that he was gripping so tightly it had crumpled around the middle. “Who is it?” 

“None of your business,” Severus hissed. “You shouldn’t be poking your nose in things that are not yours.”  

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered. Suddenly, you felt as if you were his pupil once again. It was as if you were getting chastised for not doing your homework or missing an essential ingredient in a potion. You certainly didn’t feel like his equal. 

“Did you hear what I said? Leave.” Before you could even find it in you to move, you shook your head. Severus was surprised by your defiance and growled at you, “excuse me?” 

You gulped the lump down your throat and spoke up, feigning confidence. “I’m not leaving. I came to see if you were okay and I don’t think you are. Therefore, no. I’m not leaving.” 

“You’re insufferable,” he spat. 

“You weren’t complaining the other day,” you said cockily, rolling your eyes. As soon as the words left your lips, you regretted it. 

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing!” You said immediately, hoping he really hadn’t heard you. But he had. He slammed his hand down onto his desk and leaned into your face.

“Say. That. Again.” 

You felt your bottom lip tremble slightly and, despite the anger in his voice that should have had tears welling in your eyes, an arousal stir in your stomach. Your face inched closer to his, “I said; you weren’t complaining the other day.” Without a warning, Severus slammed his lips onto yours. A squeal of surprise left your mouth, but you quickly relaxed into the kiss, kissing back with equal amounts of fever. You let go of the chair to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. For a moment you both forgot where you were. When you pulled away, you were breathless and allowed your eyes to scan the room. “You kept it?” You asked, gazing into his eyes.

Severus looked away quickly and glanced towards the shelf. Sitting behind countless potions he had made was the sex pollen you had brought to him the other day. He looked back at you with an open mouth and began to explain, “I kept it… to use it.” 

“To use it?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion.

Severus nodded, brushing his lips over yours once more. “I thought it gave me the best orgasm of my life, but it turns out that what it really was, was your tight pussy around my cock.”

His words had your brain melting and the ache between your legs became unbearable. “Really?” You asked, eyes wide with lust. 

Severus simply nodded, kissing you once again. His lips glided over yours with ease and his tongue poked out to lick your bottom lip. You gladly let his tongue into your mouth, moaning at the sensation of his muscle fighting your own. “I want to feel you again,” came his words against your lips. You didn’t even hesitate, just nodded pathetically. At your consent, Severus pressed you firmly against his desk, pulling his lips away from yours momentarily so he could work to undress you quicker. You heard him mutter something under his breath about your Professor’s robes being in his way, but you didn’t get the chance to give a smart reply because he was kissing you again almost instantaneously. The bottom half of your body was bare before you could even blink and Severus was already tugging his hardened cock out of the fly of his trousers. His tip was an angry colour of red, oozing pre-cum that made your mouth water and pussy drip shamefully. “Lay on your back, on the desk,” Severus mumbled to you softly, pointing at his desk. 

“But your parchment-”

“I don’t give a fuck about my parchments right now Y/N,” he said, making you flinch slightly at his tone. You nodded quickly and lay on top of the parchments that covered the tabletop, spreading your legs wide for the potions Professor to marvel at your exposed cunt. He slicked his tip between your folds to lubricate himself before slowly pushing into you, a desperate moan falling from his lips as he fully sheathed himself inside of you.

“Oh,” came your voice, hushed and quiet as you closed your eyes to adjust yourself to his length once again. You let out a shaky breath as Severus began to move his hips against yours slowly, hands grasping at your covered chest for something to hold on to.  

“You - ah - you feel so good,” Severus groaned. His comment had your pussy clenching around his cock, grip like a vice. 

“Do you think so?” You asked. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as his cock reached the deeper parts of you that you never imagined would be touched. 

“I know so,” he growled, hands trailing your body to grip your hips. Severus pressed a long, slender thumb against your clit and began to make circular motions forcing a surprised gasp to leave your lips. The last time he fucked you, all he could think about was his own release as a result of the sex pollen, but now he was fully focused on your pleasure. He raised your hips slightly off the desk so he could angle his cock deeper inside you while circling your clit expertly. You wondered where he had learned to do all of this because you didn’t peg him as a man of much experience, but your stomach churned at the thought of asking, so you kept your mouth shut and allowed yourself to feel his painfully hard cock moving inside of you. 

You cried out as your orgasm came crashing over you like waves in the sea. Your legs shook slightly as you wrapped them tightly around Severus’s waist, pulling his bottom half as far into yours as he could go. Your mouth opened into an ‘o’ shape and you let out moan after shameless moan. The sight pushed Severus over the edge and he sped up his movements ever-so-slightly so he could reach his orgasm at the same time. You realised he was about to cum, and so, you begged him, “please Severus. Please cum inside of me.”

Severus nodded and let himself go. His hands gripped your hips tighter as he came, painting your insides a milky-white and letting your name fall from his lips like a prayer. “Oh fuck, Y/N,” he groaned loudly, hips still rutting against yours as your cunt milked him dry. Once he had finally stopped cumming, Severus let his head drop to your chest as he attempted to catch his breath. Post orgasm clarity began kicking in for you. You pushed Severus off of your chest and grabbed your long skirt. “What’s wrong?” Severus asked, watching as you dressed yourself. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, wrapping your Professor's robes around your body, suddenly self-conscious. “I refuse to be the other woman.” 

“The other woman?” Severus asked. He was confused as to what you meant. 

“Your parchment. You’re in love with someone, I can’t come between that-”

“Y/N.”

“Severus I can’t!” You cried, tears welling in your eyes thinking he was going to try and convince you otherwise. 

“Y/N,” he said again, more sternly this time. “There is no other woman.” You picked up the crumpled parchment off the table and shoved it in his face. Severus took it from you and let out a soft sigh. “You are the woman.” 

You felt your heart skip a few beats as soon as the words left his lips. Your face burned red from an emotion you weren’t entirely sure of; it wasn’t exactly embarrassment and it wasn’t exactly self-consciousness. It was somewhere in between the two. You took a step towards Severus and wrapped your arms around his neck before crashing your lips onto his. He kissed back happily, his own arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. When you pulled away you were breathless. “You mean it?” 

“I mean it,” he gazed into your eyes and gave you a soft smile. You buried your head into his chest and inhaled his scent.

After a few seconds in his loving embrace, you finally spoke up. “So… What does this make us?” 

“Lovers?” Severus asked, eagerly awaiting your response. 

“I like the sound of that,” you said with a smirk, standing on your tiptoes to kiss the tip of his nose. “I should get going, Professor.”

“Are you sure, Professor?” He asked you. “You’re more than welcome to stay and help me grade some papers.”  

“Potion’s isn’t my forte,” you replied, smiling sheepishly. 

“Maybe I can teach you some more,” he suggested, his voice holding a hint of seductiveness. You nodded and plopped down opposite his chair at the desk and placed your hands on your chin. Severus grinned and took his seat before grabbing a pile of parchment out of his desk drawer. It was certainly going to be a long and interesting night.

[azuritethehermit]

my favorite kind of grumbo is mumbo growing wings after stealing grian’s soul. make it as angsty or fluffy as you wish :)

Wait okay that's a cute idea, In my mind Grians wings are from being a watcher and not from the whole Parrott thing canonically. (They're fun to draw in fanart though) It's just how I think so. So anyways here's Mumbo freaking the fuck out.

(DISCLAIMER: I'm not writing about the real people and only the minecraft personas they portray on the screen)

When two souls become intertwined, there's not much you can do to stop what comes next. Especially when someone takes a soul to protect. All he wanted was to keep Grian safe. He didn't want this to happen.

The tall mustached man gazes into the mirror, at the small purple and gray wings beginning to spout from the base of his back.

"This cannot be happening," He mutters to himself. He decides he needs Grian here because he'd dealt with this before.

He picks up his phone and dials Grians number stressing out, it rings for a fre seconds before Grian picks up. "Hii Mumbo," He says in his usual chirpy voice.

"Grian." Mumbo pauses for a moment, "I need you here right now." Hes going to have a panic attack. His back aches from the sprouting feathers.

"Okay, I'm coming. What's wrong?" Grian says slowly trying to calm Mumbo down over the phone.

"You'll have to see, I'll see you in a minute." Mumbo hangs up the phone. Going back to look in the mirror, he does a little spin, still trying to take this in.

He hears a knock on the door and rushes to go get it still shirtless. He opens the door to a very worried looking Grian. "Mumbo? Are you okay? Why are you shirtless."

He grabbed Grian by the hand. "Just.. come in. " He pulls him in and then shuts the door behind him. "Grian, I-." He pauses and then turns around. "Grian, I'm growing wings like you." He looks back at the smaller.

Grians face drops. "I didn't know that could happen." He whispers almost to himself.

"Ugh, Grian, this is all your fault!" Mumbo still in apparent distress just starts yelling, it scared Grian he wasn't used to Mumbo acting like this.

"My fault!?" Grian yells back, and then he stops, "How is this my fault?" He looks hurt of all people to blame Grian should be the last.

Honestly, Grian had no idea the watchers would even want Mumbo as one of them. Unless... they don't know yet. That's impossible though, they're know, all see all.

Mumbo stops in his tracks, "You're right. This isn't your fault" He pauses and then puts a hand on Grians shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"No, Mumbo, it's okay. You're clearly stressed." Grian smiles up wrapping Mumbo into a hug.

"How do I fix this?" Mumbo whispers into Grians hair almost teary eyed.

Grian sighed, "You can't. I'm sorry. I can help you embrace it, though?" Grian says, reaching for the wings. He places his hand on them delicately.

Mumbo nods as Grian pets the small pretty feathers. "They look good on you."

He pulls Mumbo out of the hug and smiles at him. He knew the watchers would want him soon, Grian wouldn't let him go through what he had too. He'd keep Mumbo safe just as Mumbo was attempting to keep Grian safe.

They just care about each other too much for their own good. It's like nothing else matters.

[c-h-i-m-es]

geto suguru

never in your lifetime would you have imagined that you'd have to call someone to come pick you up. from jail.

how did you even end up behind the bars? the last thing that you have a proper memory from tonight was you and ari, your friend were club hopping.

she finally broke up with her sad excuse of a boyfriend of almost two years. when she called you over at her place, hearing her announce she dumped him was not on even the back of your mind.

to celebrate her break up, you two made plan to drink the night away. it was all fun and games until she started complaining she had to pee right when you were in the way to another club three streets away.

"why didn't you go before we left the club when you've been complaining about your overflowing bladder since the last hour?" you pull her body close to yours, helping her drunk self walk.

"bitch i forgot about it then! i swear it's gonna leak out." she bends down, crossing her legs. you look around the place you currently are, trying to think if there's any public bathroom around. "try not to think about it, 'kay? only few blocks away. please." you try to drag her so she could just continue walking.

"if i stand up, it's not gonna hold." she speaks, biting her lower lips while you don't know if you should laugh or cry at the situation. "want me to get you a bottle or what?" 

"where do you think you'll even get a bottle out of nowhere? from a dumpster-" she snapped her head to you, "girl i'm gonna take a piss." you look at her confused as she gets up, tightly sealing her lips together as she jogs to the little gap between two buildings.

without questioning, you follow her, seeing her get behind a dumpster, pulling her little dress up and her undies down. you pause, shocked at what goes on in her mind. you cover your face with your hands, embarrassed of her behavior, turning away from the sight of her squatting down.

you don't know where the cops were but that's basically how you are where you are.

"bitch i told you to hold it." you say as you get up to walk out the cell to call someone. she pouts at you, eyes closed and head resting on the wall behind her, "that was the nicest i felt in ages."

the officer hands you the phone, "you get one call and you only have five minutes." he gives you a look and walks away. you curse at him in your head and call your boyfriend. you pray that he picks up even though it is two in the morning and he is probably sleeping.

a few more rings later, he picks the call making you let out a relieved breath, "hello-" "suguru, come pick me up please."

he takes a second to himself, "y/n? what- are you okay?" you hear his movements, probably him getting out of bed to come to you. "uh huh i'm fine. i'm sorry but can you come pick us up?"

"okay where are you?"

"of course. it's just you and ari?" "yeah it's just us."

"the police station."

one second. two second. and the third second. "what?"

"don't ask me, will you come?"

"of course y/n." you hear him sigh, "gosh you didn't kill someone did you?"

you gasp, "no! why would you think that? just get here quick."

almost an hour later, you finally walk out with geto and ari out of the police station. "this is.. freedom." ari chuckles at herself, spreading her arms and taking in a deep breath.

you scoff at her, "girl, stop tryna be eren yeager." you boyfriend chuckles from besides you, "i cannot believe this even happened."

"it's always trouble with this girl, i swear." you wrap your arms around his, leaning your body on his. your friend looks back at you, "hey at least it's a whole new thing that you got to experience."

"but if you think about it, it your boyfriend- ex's fault you went to jail." you and your friend look at geto then at each other. "think about it."

you both gasp at the same time, "give me my phone." she asks geto who just gives it to her and hands you yours. "whatchu gonna go?"

"that bitch never fails to make everything about himself. i finally broke up with him and when we go out to celebrate, we end up in jail?" she types something in her phone and brings it to her ear.

knowing exactly what's happening, you rest your head on geto's arm while you both watch your friend start cursing at her ex over the phone.

not even two minutes into her screaming into the phone and you two laughing, a cop comes out, "it's literally just night for most people. could you keep it down?"

geto apologises to the cop and you drag your friend to where geto parked his car, "please.. you can do that tomorrow."

she gets in the back seat while you sit in the passenger seat. he drives to ari's place and stops in front of her building. "can you get to your room on your own?" you ask, doubtfully looking at her.

"geez of course i can. all that screaming cleared my mind a little. i can manage. you two go ahead." you blow her a kiss and geto drives away. now that it's only the two of you, you turn your body to him, "you look so hot right now."

he was in his night sweatpant and basic white oversized tee. his usual night wear. and his hair messily tied in a bun. yeah, very hot.

you smile at his words and stare at him, getting lost in the thoughts. there's a comfortable silence between the two of you before he speaks, "i didn't know you could go to jail for pissing in public."

he looks at your for a brief moment, chuckling before he brings his eyes back on the road. "i could say the same about you, pretty."

you gasp, "oh thank god it's not just me. i was thinking they are pranking us when they said they're taking us because ari pissed behind a dumpster."

if something with the cops doesn't make sense idk either lmao

[imdeadinsidesiriuslydead]

~Cracked Mask~ pt.2

Jason Todd x fem!reader

pt. 2 to the this

Minors! Don’t! Read! This! You have been warned!

warnings: cursing (I mean it’s Jason Todd so), feelings, miscommunication, frustration. Also smut?!? Maybe?!? Read and find out 😏😘

a/n: I really didn’t expect people to like the part 1 cause I kinda rushed through the ending. But I don’t see any angsty Jason fics that show his more awkward side and thought I would just have to write it myself. So enjoy.

—-

When you got back to the manor and took a shower you cried.

You didn’t cry cause Jason regret it. I mean you regretted it too. You cried cause you embarrassed yourself in front of your teammate.

You cried cause you had to look Batman, Thee Batman, in the eye and say you failed. You’ve never felt more embarrassed.

You got out of the shower and we’re heading back to your room when Barbara came wheeling over to you.

You put on a fake smile and greeted her as normal.

“what’s up?” You ask.

“what’s up with me? What’s up with you? Ever since getting back from that mission you’ve seemed off.” She said in a kind voice.

“I’m just-“ you swallowed “embarrassed that I failed my first mission with Batman there.” You said quietly.

This wasn’t just patrol, this was a real life big mission and you fail cause you were hit with sex pollen, which you are still trying to wrap your head around on why Poison ivy used that on you.

Barbara gave you a sympathetic look. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Poison Ivy is tough. I didn’t take her down my first few tries.” She smiled.

“Really?” You asked. You had grown up with a poster of batgirl on your wall. You idolized her. She was your hero. It’s hard to think she ever failed when all the girl power posters made her seem untouchable.

“Oh yea.” She laughed. “One time Riddler knocked me out my first time fighting him.” She laughed remembering the good ole days. “Can you believe it? Riddler. He’s so scrawny!”

you laughed along with her and as you settled down she gave you a look.

“The first few missions by yourself won’t be perfect. You have to learn how to hold your own in a fight without Batman being there for backup. No one said it would be easy. But you get better by trail and error. You have to get real world experience of fighting the criminals one on one to be able to stop them. You’ll get it next time” she smiled.

You smiled back at her as your mind drifted back to the mission. It was cut short cause of the pollen.

that stupid fucking pollen.

If you had landed correctly on your fall, you wouldn’t have been affected by the pollen. You wouldn’t have desperately asked Jason to make you cu-

“Y/N. Did anything else happen on this mission?” She asked softly. “Did Jason say anything or do anything that should concern me?”

“No!” You reply almost too quickly. “No, the mission was my fault. He didn’t do anything.”

“okay.” She replied. But as she watched you walk back to your room her gut told her something was wrong. She had to ask Jason, she could always read him and get him to fess up.

———

Barbara sawed out Jason in the Library. He usually came in here to read or hide from Dick. She found him sitting on the couch reading “Pride and prejudice”

“Jace, I have a bone to pick with you.” She stated sternly, wheeling towards Jason.

“Can it wait? I’m at my favorite part.” He says not looking up.

“No it cannot. And you have read that book a thousand times since freshman year.” She says as she moves herself to sit on the couch.

“Jeez. What’yd do to piss off Bruce this time.” He laughed. But as Babs stared him down he stopped laughing.

“I’m here to talk about Y/N.” She states matter of factly.

Jason’s face falls.

Barbara sighs. “I don’t know what happened on the mission, and I’m not asking for you to tell me.” Jason sighs in relief. “But that does not mean that I’m going to let Y/N torture herself with overthink every single detail of the mission. Whatever happened between you two, you need to talk it out. Y/N’s working herself up over whatever happened.”

Jason looked away from her and grimaced.

“Look. Jace, I know you hate talking about feelings and everything but, to work as a team you need to be able to communicate. Y/N just wants to feel apart of this team. But it will always be blocked if you don’t fix whatever happened.” Barbara never breaks eye contact, showing her seriousness.

“Fine.” He says annoyed. “I’ll go talk about my feelings and apologize.” He gets up and walks to the door.

“You got this Jason!” Barbara laughs as Jason flicks her off.

———

Y/N was sitting on her bed folding laundry when she heard a knock on her door.

“Come in!” Jason walks through the door and awkwardly stands by it. Y/N looks up from her neatly folded clothes to see the last person she wanted to see right now.

“Do you need something?” Y/N asked trying really hard to maintain eye contact and act as if it was a normal conversation.

“We need to talk.” Jason states looking anywhere but her face. “I know your upset that we failed-“ he nervously played with his fingers.

“We don’t need to.” You say turning back to your laundry.

“Yes, yes we do. I need to explain my-“ he explained nervously

“Nope. No. I get it. I was in pain. I asked a question and put you on the spot. It all happened fast after you sniffed the pollen too. It makes you impulsive in your decisions and your-“ you swallowed “your words. I don’t need to hold you accountable for what you said. I-“

“Oh,You mean when I said I wanted you under me since you got here?” Jason cut you off. He seemed to have gotten what you were implying. “Wait you’re upset because you think I lied?”he asked, his face turning almost smug. He had a new found confidence all of a sudden. You were taken aback by the switch.

you froze. You waited for it, for the rejection. You felt tears brim your eyes as you were about to be subject to embarrassment.

“You asked me to help you, how could I not.” You felt a tear start to slip. “I couldn’t say no when you were begging so pretty for me.”

You felt like the wind had got knocked out of your lungs.

“The pollen doesn’t make you lie. The pollen makes you horny to a point of pain. It didn’t make me forcibly dry hump you.” You blushed at the crudeness of his words.

you felt his presence behind you. “I don’t know. I thought you were hot before, but when you were laying there begging for me”

he leaned closer, you could feel his breath on your neck. “I got so hard. Your blushing cheeks and wide eyes, that tight suit of yours. I just couldn’t help myself.” He whispers in your ear.

You could feel your wetness pooling in your panties. You skin felt on fire as his lips gently caressed your neck. You subconsciously leaned back into him.

“I didn’t lie. I wanted you under me since the second you walked through the door.” You felt his hand caress the side of your waist as he spoke. “ and I won’t lie now, I want you under me again, if you’ll have me,” he spoke as he removed his lips from your neck.

You turned around to face him. He looked so perfect. His hair slightly messy with the white tuff hanging in his face, his pink cheeks and eyes clouded by lust.

“I thought I had forced your hand. I thought you regretted it.” You said in a breathless daze.

“I regret I didn’t do it properly. With an introduction, date, and a romantic gesture but there was no time for that when you were in pain.” He said.

you got a mischievous glint in your eye as you looked up at him. “Well if you could restart, how would you have done it?” You ask.

“Well i start it with the simplest thing. The truth.” He had a charming smile on his face, all lust removed. “I like you, would you want to go out with me?” He asked.

“yes.” You said with a giggle. “Then what?”

Y/N watched his face contort to something more sinister. “I’d take you home, after the first few dates, and turn on so music.” He said with his seductive charm.

You turned around and pressed your back to his chest. “Then what?” You asked teasingly.

“Then we start our slow. Kissing you first, letting my hands explore your body.” He whispered as his lips returned to your neck. His hands slowly caressing your sides.

You breathed in a gasp.

“Then I’d lay you down and play with you.” He said as one hand made its way down your pants and the other went up to your chest.

He left wet open mouth kisses on your neck has his right hand slid underneath your waistband. He massaged your core through your panties and let out a moan in you ear.

You whined as you felt him rub your clit through the fabric. You wiggled your hips against his crotch, feeling his boner press into your lower back. His big frame engulfed you as he moved his arms around you.

He started kneeling your breast in his hand as his other slipped into your underwear and slid through your folds.

He groaned in your ear “so wet for me.”

you moaned as you felt a single finger enter you, and slowly pull out before entering again.

You moved your hand behind you and grabbed his bulge. He moaned in your ear before he removed your hand.

“Not right now, this is about you.” He said as he spun you around to face him before leaning in and kissing you.

His kiss was soft, like before on the rooftop but now, filled with so much need. He moaned against you lips and pushed you on the bed, knocking over the neat pile of folded laundry. He pulled away and smiled nervously “Sorry. I’ll fix that later.” He said before quickly kissing you again.

He slotted his hips between you legs and you felt his hard dick press against your thigh. He pulled at the end of your shirt before pulling back and looking in your eyes.

“May I?” He asked.

“Please.” You said breathlessly.

He smirked and took you shirt off. He started kissing down your neck and chest before unhooking your bra.

He looked at your bare breasts and moaned before kissing and sucking down them.

You moaned as he took them in his mouth. And grabbed his hair, tugging. He groaned against you skin sending divers down your spine.

his kisses get lower and lower until he is right above your waistband. He pulls your pants down and returns his attention back your clit. Rubbing as he watches in awe.

He looks you in the eye before moving to mouth at your clit through your panties. You moan again and grab his hair causing him the groan. The vibrations going straight to your clit.

“Fuck Jason.” You breath as he slowly pulls you panties down before spreading your legs open.

“Such a pretty pussy all wet for me.” He said as he slides his fingers through your wet folds.

“Jason please.” You beg.

“Please what?” He teases.

“Please eat me out!” You ask while looking him in the eye.

His facade falls for a second. His wide eyes and blushing cheeks giving away his own nervousness before he smiles his charming smile again.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He said before he leans down and immediately attaches his mouth to your clit.

He starts to eat you out like a starved man, and all you could do was moan. You gripped his hair occasionally tugging to feel him moan against your heat.

soon you were bucking your hips against his face begging him to go faster. He flicks his younger harder before replacing his younger with his fingers and rubbing your clit faster and harder.

the pressure almost made you cum in the spot but Jason had other plans.

He pulled away causing you to whine pathetically. He laughed before removing his shirt.

he quickly stripped to just his boxers

“Oh I was right. His did have rock hard abs.” You thought as you openly stared at his chest.

He had a scar that went down his abdomen and across his shoulder and chest. He was ripped and had a hard v line leading to his hard cock trapped in his boxer briefs.

“Jeez you’re hot.” You say before realizing what you said.

Jason blushed and laughed. “ I should be saying the same thing to you.” He smiled before leaning back over you.

His large frame and arms cages around your head and you ran you hands down his chest, feeling the ripples underneath your fingertips. You made eye contact as your hands landed on his dick, and squeezed.

He whimpered again. The whimper you remembered from the rooftop. The same whimper you have thought of we you had your hand down your pants last night.

He pulled his cock out and you stared in shock. He was so much bigger than you excepted. But you drooled at the thought of it inside you.

He rubbed the head against your heat, gathering wetness before positioning the top at your entrance.

“Are you sure?” He asked looking into your eyes with the most sincerity.

“Yes, Jason. Please I want you to fuck me.” You said as you slide you hand down to where your bodies meet. You start to play with your clit.

Jason sucks in a breath. “Fuck.” He breath before pushing in.

It hurt at first but Jason paused half way through to let you adjust.

Once he was all the way in, he slowly pulled out before pushing back in, starting a slow rhythm.

You moan and wrapped you arms around his middle, gripping on to whatever skin you fingers could find.

He started picking up pace and moved his head to suck on your nipple again. His hand that was t holding him up, falling down to where your bodies are joined, rubbing circles on your clit.

Everything was too much for you. “I’m gonna cum!” You moan as you squirted on his cock.

He moan at the sensation before ducking into you faster. “You look so gorgeous when you cum. Ohmyfuckinggod…” he said as he quickly pulls out and shoots his cum on your stomach.

He collapses on top of you and kisses you hard.

“Im sorry for making you feel like shit these past few days.” He says breathlessly.

“It all ok now” you say as he looks up and smiles at you. He hugs you and pulls you into his chest.

“I’m gonna take you on a proper date though.”

“I don’t doubt it.” You say as you eyes get heavy———

Bonus:

“For fuck sake Jason, when I said make up, I didn’t me make out. I didn’t have to hear the bed shaking all the way from down the hall!” Barbara yelled as Jason walked out of your room later.

——————/-

requests are open!

taglist:

@igotanidea

@princessbl0ss0m

[tkaulitzlvr]

THE WRONG WAY - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: tom hasn’t been paying you enough attention lately, and, when you finally snap, he can’t understand where you are coming from, until you reach your breaking point. can the issues between you and him be resolved?

content: angst

a/n: pulled this out of my ass lol, i had to rush it because i’m in the middle of another req but it’s nowhere near done after like three hours of writing so i’ll have to finish and post it tomorrow. sorry if there are mistakes, i only proofread veryyy briefly cause i’m so tired rn😭 hope this is okay tho!!

"you don't love me."

i voice the harsh words to the silent room, clearly and with every sense of belief behind my statement. to my discomfort, saying it out loud does not make me feel any more at ease, in fact seeing the way tom’s entire body breaks for a second, processing what i had just said, before trying to cover the hurt on his face up, only suffocates me even more. the lump in my throat only gets bigger, the tension in the air thickening by the second.

"wow." he begins, shaking his head, trying to wrap his head around how i could even come to that conclusion. "that’s an awful accusation." he glances at me, his eyes already glossy, giving me enough of an idea on how much i have hurt him by uttering those four words. however i stick to it, figuring that it is too late to back out now. within me, behind all the anger, all the upset, i feel that it is true. i sense that he no longer feels the same way he did when he met me, all those years ago, the love within his eyes slowly diminishing until it is now long gone.

"and also." he speaks, leaning forward and looking directly into my eyes, staying in his position spread on the end of the other couch. "it's not true. you know it isn't."

the pressure of his gaze leaves me unable to hold eye contact with him, looking away sheepishly into my lap, hoping that somehow the ground could swallow me up. i grit my teeth, locking my jaw in anger, feeling no reassurance from his quick denial of my statement. so i decide to challenge him, standing my ground despite the nausea only growing within me. though his voice seems somewhat certain, i refuse to believe that i am making it up, that it is all in my head. "do i though tom?"

my eyes meet his, except the ones looking into me are foreign. they are angry, a glint of hostility present within them that i had not yet witnessed, this change taking me aback, yet i refuse to look away. he is sad. those eyes, past the resentment in them, i see pain. i see sorrow. i have upset him, far beyond what he intends to let out. he is usually strong, and perhaps right now he thinks that he is keeping this up, yet i can read him like a book, the way his left brow furrows, creating a crease along his forehead, the way his eyes cannot focus on one thing, darting around the room, i can see that he is struggling. and whilst part of me hurts with him, hating to put him through any sort of distress, i need it right now. because i am tired of feeling unloved and unappreciated - regardless of whether tom intends to make me feel this way or not.

he shakes his head, scoffing slightly in disbelief, letting out a shaky sigh, before speaking up, his voice loud, in contrast to the silent room. "what, so i've been lying every single time i’ve told you that i love you, over the past six years that we've been together? mind you, i say that every day, without fail."

i stay silent, my eyes becoming glossy as they quickly tear away from his. he takes my silence as a cue to continue, my sudden belief that he does not love me angering him as he desperately seeks to remind me of every reason why i am in the wrong. "don't i do everything for you? make sure that you're always safe, give you my everything-"

"give me your money, you mean." i reply, cutting him off. i don’t want to seem ungrateful - i appreciate the way tom would spend any amount of money on me if it made me happy. i am thankful for the house he has given me, the vacations he takes me on, the things he buys me, but those things are not the reasons why i fell in love with him. i fell for tom kaulitz. not his money, not his fame, not his profession. i fell for who he is, for him as a person, whether he is rich or poor, yet it feels that day by day i lose a small part of that. i have always understood that his job means that he will be away a lot, but it is hard to be in a relationship with someone that can't always be there, only their fortunes can.

"i’m grateful for what you do for me, really i am, but i'd much rather have time with you than the latest gucci bag, or the newest chanel perfume. if it meant that i would have to live with nothing for the rest of my life, i would do it. don't you understand? i want you - not your money tom! i don't need you to apologise with gifts when i don’t see you all day, i just...i need you." i am desperate, craving for him to hear me out, to understand that it is him that i need, but the way he looks at me in confusion shows me that i am not going to achieve that.

"i thought you liked the things i buy for you. have you been lying?" he completely ignores the point that i have been trying to make, this only fuelling the frustration within me as i exhale shakily, quickly grasping onto the opportunity to argue my point once again.

"i do but that's not the point tom! i like them because i feel like it's all i get from you!" my voice is raising, something which i did not want to happen. shouting never solves the problem, however right now i am far too angry to care. "i just want some of your time, to feel like you actually care! when you're with me, you're here physically, but your mind is always elsewhere. i just miss you. i need to you be mine again, i-"

"look, i’m sorry okay?" he begins, harshly cutting me off and matching the volume in my voice. "i'm sorry that my job is more demanding than others, i’m sorry that it needs a lot of my attention, but i told you this from the beginning. my career is a big part of who i am and things aren't always easy. they get hard, they get tough, but-"

"that's my problem! when things get hard for you, i don't fucking know about it! because you shut me out, every. single. time. i'm your girlfriend, tom. i want to know about your life, i want to help you, but you always run away from me! you spoil me with gifts and money to compensate for every fucking time you leave me in the dark! i don't want it anymore. i just want you to communicate!" i move from the couch, walking to the middle of the room and standing a few feet away from him. his eyes are glued to me, watching my every step, and he is listening to me this time. "am i such a headache to be around, that you can't talk to me? that you can't deal with spending time with me, so instead you spend your money to try and shut me up, because you have so much that no matter what you buy, it doesn't affect you?"

"don't." he voices shakily as i stare into his eyes, his expression more wounded than ever. my words stab into him, hitting him harder than i had anticipated. his fists clench against his thighs, holding every ounce of frustration. though we have argued in the past, i have never seen him this upset, regardless of whether he intends to show it visibly or not. "you know that i don't think of you that way, even for a second. so stop."

"you can't blame me for thinking it tom." i shrug. "you leave me out of everything, i have no idea what's going on in your life anymore-"

“because i'm trying to fucking protect you!" he interrupts, raising his voice once again. his hand slams against the arm of the couch, the sudden contact causing me to wince slightly. "i'm sorry if you feel like i'm hiding things from you. but i know parts of my life would just stress you out and hurt you. don't you get that? i'm trying to save you from the pain-"

"i want the fucking pain!" i fire back. "we are supposed to be in a relationship. do you know what that means? i want to suffer with you. i would choose that, a million times over, if it meant that i could be with you for another day. i want every part of you, the sad, the happy, the angry, i want it all. can't you see that i need you? i hate being left in the dark. i absolutely fucking hate it.”

my voice pierces through his ears, diminishing the tense silence as tom gulps, clenching his jaw and leaning forwards, pinching his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. the rash and quick responses don’t allow me time to calm down, my eyes becoming glossy with tears, the salty liquid staining my cheeks before i can try to hold them back, my weakness just as evident as tom’s. the pain, the upset, the lack of affection that have been feeling all spills out, reeling outwards from within me as i let it out, no longer attempting to hold back.

he looks up, his face softening as he takes in my hurt expression. he has never seen me like this, so broken, and the fact that he is the cause of this pains him even more, his mind coming to the slow realisation that it is up to him to fix this. although he doesn’t fully understand how i could possibly believe that he does not love me, he wants to try, to try and see from my eyes. he lets out a shaky sigh, swallowing nervously before looking into my eyes.

"i would rather feel the sadness, suffer with you." i begin, my voice small as the tears quickly take away my physical strength. "i would do absolutely anything if it means that you will love me, that you will do it with me, tom."

"i don't live a normal life, and i just want to keep you away from the crazy things." he speaks slowly, trying to reason with me, refusing to turn his gaze away from mine. "some people want to hurt me, and i would never forgive myself if someone ever did anything to harm you."

i try to wipe my tears and calm my breathing, wrapping my arms around my small frame in an attempt to comfort myself, quickly becoming overwhelmed with the situation. but my mind acknowledges tom’s change in tone. not only is he more gentle and calm, he also seems sorry, like he now recognises where he went wrong.

"what do you want me to do?" he whispers, defeated as his tired eyes meet mine. he is no longer angry. he is desperate, longing to resolve this. "i'll do anything. i- i can't lose you. you're my world, schatz, and i'm sorry if i haven't shown it, but you are everything to me."

though there are millions of things i could say, i stay silent, standing still across the room. my heart clenches painfully, hurting at the sight of him so distraught, as his mind considers the dreaded idea of what losing me would be like. his world is crumbling before him, the one thing he seeks to protect seeming to slip through his fingers. i have never seen him like this, so vulnerable, so desperate, and whilst it comforts me to know that he is slowly letting down the walls that have prevented me from truly being with him, it saddens me to see him in such a distraught state.

"all i've ever wanted is to keep you safe. to keep you happy, liebe, because if you're happy then so am i. but you deserve more than this." he points to himself angrily, letting out a shaky sigh. "more than this fucking idiot, who doesn't even know how to love. i’m so sorry if i've done it the wrong way and made you feel like i don't care. because you shouldn't for a second think that i don't love you."

everything that i have been craving to see is happening in front of me. i have longed to see him open up, to break down the barriers that separate us both physically and mentally. i don’t want him to be strong all the time, and it hurts that he feels he has to be. the tears fall from my bloodshot eyes once again - this time out of sadness for him. i hurt with him, hating to see him so upset, but i understand his pain, his anger, and i feel every emotion along with him. for the first time in forever, i feel connected with him.

after a few moments of silence, he stands up, slowly walking towards me. i refuse to meet his gaze, fearing that i will break down once again i realise how hurt he truly is, and looking into his eyes will certainly display every emotion amongst his beautiful features. his hand brushes tenderly against my cheek, wiping a fresh tear that had fallen. he reaches towards my chin, using his pointer finger to angle my face upwards so it meets with his eyes. he towers over me, taking in the sorrow etched upon my face, before tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ears, gently caressing my cheek with his lips slightly parted, shaky breaths escaping from them.

"please, look at me." he whispers, gazing longingly into my eyes. i comply, shifting my own eyes to the deep brown ones in front of me. they are full of adoration, and i feel the man that i fell in love with slowly coming back to me. "i love you, so so much, please believe me schatz. you are the most important person in my life, and i am so sorry that i've made you feel the opposite way." he chokes up, his voice shaky as i can tell he is on the verge of tears.

i listen to him, allowing every word to sink in, as it is now no longer hard to trust what he says. i feel what i have been desperate to - love. i feel truly appreciated, like i am able to confide in him like i once could. though frustrated it took the both of us to get to this state to make him speak his mind, i appreciate him opening up, his apology making up for the lost time. there is no shame in being fragile, and through his entire conversation, we have both learned this, a new found appreciation for each other gained as i feel safe again.

"don't feel like you have to keep things to yourself. i’m your girlfriend, i'm supposed to be here for you, and i'll gladly do it, but you have to talk to me." i respond, lacing my hand with his. a soft smile spreads across his face, contrasting with his bloodshot eyes whilst he slowly nods.

"i hear you. i’m so sorry baby. i love you." he whispers, pulling me into a tight hug as his hands lace together around my waist. he lets out a sob onto my shoulder, my heart breaking at the sound. he clutches onto me tighter as if i may slip away, my own eyes tearing up once again. it has been a while since i felt like this. i feel loved, and it is all that i have ever wanted from the start.

he slowly pulls away, resting his forehead against mine and looking into my eyes through his eyelashes. after a few seconds, he leans inwards, until his lips touch mine. the kiss is gentle, carrying every promise to love and cherish me like he has failed to do, and i gladly accept it, kissing back quickly and wrapping my arms around his neck. he pulls away, planting a few pecks on my lips once again, his breath shaky as the remnants of tears stick to his cheeks. i slowly wipe them away, not breaking eye contact as i do so, gently caressing the soft skin until any trace of sadness is lost within our newfound love for each other.

a soft smile graces his lips, failing to wither as he kisses me once again, the same amount of passion as the last, making up for the lost affection as i feel more treasured than ever. this is all I have ever wanted, to feel like he cares, and now that i am feeling his affection, my mind is oozing with contentment, the feeling almost foreign it has been so long.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

hiii! maybe one bed trope with Nikolai??? please!!

Don't mind if I do...

One Bed - Nikolai Lantsov

Content Warnings: Suggestive Content. Not Beta/Proof Read.

Nikolai Taglist: @hauntedenthusiasttragedy , @writingmysanity

You stare at Nikolai, arms crossed, an unimpressed look on your face and Nikolai tries not to smirk. "You didn't feel like mentioning this aspect of it all?" you ask, gesturing to the room. He shrugs.

"I said we would be having to pose as a husband and wife for this," he reminds you. "Mrs Sturmhond."

"So you did know this was going to happen," you state looking at the one bed in the room you've been given to share.

"I knew it was a possibility," he says, unable to keep the laughter from his voice.

"You are a scoundrel," you tease him, giving him a gentle shove.

"Come on," he gives you a smirk, and you want to do anything to keep him looking at you, "it could be worse."

"Could it now, pray tell," you joke.

"I could have sent Tolya to pretend with you," he offers, "he snores."

"Yes but at least Tolya is immune to my charm," you say.

"Oh is that what worries you love?" he asks. You give him the most convincing laugh you can.

"Not at all Captain," you say, "because you're sleeping on the floor."

"I am your Captain," he reminds you. "Besides if you cannot resist me just tell me as much and I will respect you conceding."

"You wish," you say, not meeting his eye. The look drops from that of a jokester to a more smug look, the longer you won't meet his eye.

"Oh, that really is the reason isn't it darling?" he asks.

"Stop talking," you tell him. "Or I will make you sleep on the floor."

You lay staring at the ceiling, trying desperately to think about anything else, literally any other thing than Nikolai beside you. You can feel the weight of his breathing, the heat of his skin radiating between you. You feel like you're going crazy.

"Love," he says, his voice heavy with sleep. "If you are getting this restless I can-,"

"It's fine," you say. "I just cannot get comfortable."

"Okay," he mumbles, rolling over and snaking an arm around your torso, pulling you closer to him, embracing you in the warmth and sleep. Your breath hitches and you feel yourself freezing up and he pulls his arm away instantly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-,"

"No," you reassure him, "it's fine. It's nice... I just wasn't expecting it."

"May I?" he whispers against your ear, you give a small nod and he returns to holding you. You can feel his heart beating against your back, the gentle exhales of breath against your skin.

"Nikolai?" you whisper into the darkness.

"Yes?"

"You fidgeting," you tell him, feeling the gentle taps of his fingers against the skin above your hip, a soft repeated pattern, soothing in its own right, but right now, with him, you feel like it is setting your skin on fire.

"Am I?" he asks.

"If you keep doing that, I can't promise I'll behave," you say honestly. His hand doesn't still, but you feel him chuckle. You realise he thinks you're joking. "Kolya," you say, voice coming out more sultry than you meant it to, but it wakes him from his sleepy state with a jolt. You turn your head to meet his eyes, a look of seriousness in them.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asks, a grin threatening to break his poise.

"No," you admit, rolling over to face him, "but I wouldn't advice you continue."

"Why is that?" he asks, nudging closer.

"Because we are in someone else's bed," you remind him. He chuckles.

"Fair point."

The sunlight flits in and the bright orange strips of light catch the dust floating, bringing you back to your consciousness. Nikolai's arms are still wrapped tightly around you, and his hair is all dishevelled with small wisps betraying the natural direction of his hair. You cannot help but smile at how soft he looks, and you gently correct some of the stray tendrils. A quiet laugh breaks through Nikolai's tired smile. "You okay there love?" he asks, not opening his eyes.

"Why do you call me that?" you ask, and his hand finds yours, lacing his fingers between yours.

"Because I like the way you blush when I do," he admits. You know his smugness is half of his charm but right now you want to shove him.

"We need to get up, they will be expecting us," you remind him. He shrugs slightly.

"I mean they think we are newly weds, they'd probably expect us to be a little late," he teases, running his thumb gently under your chin.

"Get up," you tell him, slipping out of bed. He watches you, sitting up.

"Why would I want to get up when I could stay right here, with you giving me that look?" he asks, crossing his arms over the bedsheet.

"Because if you get up, and we get those over with, I might just let you finish what you started," you say. And you're sure you've never seen Nikolai move so quickly.

"What are you waiting for love?" he asks buttoning up his shirt. "I am sure they're expecting us."

[00belle00lovely00]

HeadCanons for DogDay x CatNap,

NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️🫵🫵🫵🫵

OKAY OKAY OKAY-

HOLY MOLY YA'LL APPEARING OUT OF THE THIN AIR IN NUMBERS

No seriously- PLEASE have mercy on me there are SO MANY COMMISSIONS-

☀️🧡🌙💜☀️🧡🌙💜☀️🧡🌙💜☀️🧡🌙💜☀️🧡🌙💜☀️🧡

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. SUN CHARACTER X MOON CHARACTER>>>>>>>>>

I absolutely adore the Sleepyday ship name.

I think we can all agree on why the fandom took this ship by storm. I mean, come on, it's literally opposites attract. I may not personally like or even come as close to agreeing to the in-game Dogday and Catnap (since it's either fucked up or even more fucked up in every sense) BUT THE CARTOON VERSIONS? OH MY GOSH. CUTIES. ABSOLUTE CUTIES.

Literally extrovert x introvert.

LISTEN I ONCE FOUND ABOUT THIS ONE MASTERPIECE WHERE THEY HAD MATCHING NECKLACES THAT- LIKE- IF YOU PRESS ON IT IT KINDA VIBRATES AND YOU ONLY TOUCH ON IT WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MISS THEM. AND IT WAS SUCH A CUTE CONCEPT AAAAAAA.

Their date GOTTA BE watching the solar eclipse. ONE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY- WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN ART OF THAT? I DON'T KNOW. BUT I KNOW THAT IF IT DOESN'T POP UP SOON I'LL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

They are like gay without knowing what gay means. They just think that whenever someone brings it up they mean "happy". As in "happy friends".

Call me crazy but I LOVE my headcanon of Catnap knowing ASL either just because of knowledge OR because this man is so quiet people think he is a mute, which for him is good, and saves him a bunch of time. And besides, why talk when you happy go-happy Dogday to come along and talk for you?

OH TALKING ABOUT THAT LAST HEADCANON. WOULDN'T IT BE SO CUTE THAT DOGDAY ONLY UNDERSTOOD "I love you" IN ASL JUST BECAUSE CATNAP SAID IT SO MUCH ARGSDJFNSKLJDBFMSJKBASJDBFKJASBDFKJASDBFKSAJBD

They're so boyfriends I LOVE THEM! I'm pretty sure they'd be completely confused if they ever got to hear the myth that "cats and dogs hate each other"

PDA?... EEeeeh.. depends, on whether Catnap is awake at the moment?

I heavily am basing myself off from AO3 fanfic I read and absolutely adore, but CATNAP AS A NOCTORNAL GUY IS THE BEST HEADCANON EVER!!!

THEY ARE SHARING THE SAME BLANKET AAA

They outta have a picnic date someday where Catnap is trying out vanilla cupcakes and Dogday lavender tea.

I'd say that Catnap, on rare occasions, of course, likes to show very subtle and rather gentle affections like holding hands, intertwining fingers, locking arms or wrapping a tail around Dogday's leg. Meanwhile, Dogday is just: "❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭😭😭" on the inside.

BRING THESE TWO. TO KARAOKE NIGHT. THEY ARE SINGING ALL NIGHT LONG!!! Well, if Catnap approves of course.

Dogday when asked if he likes Catnap: "W-what? OOOoooh! OH! Uh-.. that! Heheh, well it DEPENDS you know? I mean... As in, like like or like liking like? BECAUSE- don't get me wrong! I LIKE Catnap! I like ALL of you! But I kind of.. like... like... like-" and that just goes on and on for hours.

Catnap when asked if he likes Dogday: "I love him. Why do you wanna know?" ever so casually. No hesitation.

Ngl the way I worded that last headcanon now sounds like that one line of Jessica Rabbit saying "he makes me laugh" LMAO.

OH MY GOSH. HEAR ME OUT YA'LL. HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. WOULDN'T CATNAP LOOK ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS IN A DRESS? Okay. Yeah, no, I changed my mind, he would be all sassy throughout it. Yup... but at least Dogday is content.

They adore astrology, wanna know why? Because that's the one thing they commonly love. While everyone else has no idea what they're talking about.

THEY'RE CUDDLE BUDDIES!!!

I'm so normal for them. BUT SERIOUSLY I LOVE THEM AH-

[faeskiss]

MY EVERYTHING ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Zaros x reader!

I am not a stranger to weary days, in fact I’ve been nothing but weary for the past couple of weeks…

I cannot for the life of me recall the last time I could peacefully allow myself to lay my head down and give in to sleep, it’s been so long since I’ve had a pleasant dream, cruel and unbearable ones plague me instead, making my nights excruciatingly miserable.

How am I supposed to study and give it my all in the trials if I’m not well rested? Everything in life worries me and I feel utterly powerless, it’s funny actually, how can an earis, someone who’s birthright is power itself, feel devoid of it? It’s all just a big joke

I can clearly hear the storm outside grow worse and worse, lightning cracks and rumbles relentlessly, I usually enjoy rain, but this, this is absolutely terrifying and it’s fuelling my unease by the second

I keep tossing and turning, trying to breathe and collect my thoughts, but it’s no use, it seems my own mind hates me just as much as everyone else.

After a few more torturous moments of pure agony I decide to go outside, I know the storm is raging and growing like wildfire but I can’t stand to be cooped up in my room like this…

I step outside of my room and as soon as I do I am met with a breeze that’s fervently cold, the walls of this palace echo the rage of the storm, it’s truly a ghastly night

I pull my shawl closer to me and wrap my hands inside of it, trying to grasp whatever warmth I can, I slowly pace the halls, passing various rooms, my feet can’t help but abruptly stop in their tracks…

I find myself standing just outside of Zaros’s room and a wave of nostalgia washes over me, I remember all the times we hid from the uproar of the sky, he HATED storms..

I don’t know what’s happening, but it feels like I’m not in control of my reflexes, I immediately go up to the door and knock, knowing full well someone might see or hear me, knowing I’d regret it later

“The earis invited themselves into Zaros’s room the other night, it seems his notorious ways are finally rubbing off on them, what a shame”

Heaven knows what other things these nobles would say, why don’t I ever learn?

The horror of what I’ve done suddenly seeps into me, and before I can even turn around to save face, I am much too late

He opens the door….his green eyes look tired and worn down, the usual charm and gleam is missing in them

“Uhm…..hello?” He asks, obvious confusion painted on his face

I clear my throat, and try to answer

“H-Hello, I- uhm” I reply, absolutely failing to come up with an excuse as to why I am here, in the dead of night, unannounced, barely decent

“You are the last person I would ever expect to show up at my door, in the thick of night” he says with a soft, unexpected laughter

“Trust me, I am just as confused as you are” I reply with a faint laugh

“It seems that I’m finally rubbing off on you huh?” he says slyly

“Oh please! it’s not like that, I-‘’ before I can finish my sentence a loud clap of thunder booms and reverberates through the halls, startling us both

“I JUST don’t want to be alone, during this outpour…….I’m sorry but I just didn’t know where else to go” I say, surprising myself

His eyes soften, and a warm, empathetic smile forms on his face, something I thought I’d never see from him, ever again…

All of a sudden, he reaches for my hand, gently and slowly pulls me in the room, and I just let him

He then shuts the door behind us

I cannot believe that I’m in Zaros Atha’llin’s room……..at night…… the nobles would have a field day if they ever caught wind of this, but the truth is, that I don’t care, when I know I should and that gravely concerns me

“Look, I’m so very sorry I interrupted your sleep, I didn’t-“ I say

“It’s okay, I was awake anyways” he cuts me off

“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask

“You of all people should know how much I loathe storms” he adds

“How can I ever forget” I reply softly

“I see you haven’t grown to like them either”

“Ha! Never” I reply

“I think we should sit down” he says as he moves towards the bed

“ah yes, of course” I reply as I follow him

I seat myself beside him, another frantic wave of nostalgia crashes against me, I always sat next to him back in school….

“I know there’s something troubling you, something other than the storm” he says in a calm yet stern voice

“I- I just” I try to reply, but I just can’t, it’s quite abnormal being vulnerable to him, the last time him and I had a heart to heart was quite simply a lifetime ago

“Please do not feel obligated to talk about it, take your time” he says

“I just have the worst, most obscene amount of anxiety these days, and it only gets worse and worse as the weeks pass” I reply, this took a lot of courage and valour, it took all the strength in me to even say these words to someone

“I-I understand you more than you might ever know, it seems that these trials have not been kind to either of us, the stakes are unachievable and the water’s rough, you are not alone, I feel it too” he says in a somber tone, his expression is filled with gloom

His words shoot right at my heart, making me feel understood and protected, I would have never imagined that anything he’d said would have this affect on me, but I don’t despise it, not even a little bit

“I wouldn’t wish this entire ordeal on my worst enemy…..which,would be you I suppose” he ends his sentence with a unexpected burst of laughter, which in turn makes me laugh too

“I suppose so” I reply, giggling like a child

Me and Zaros, actually laughing together, as if nothing’s ever changed, I never would’ve imagined

“From best mates who are absolutely inseparable to enemies who are fighting for the throne, how the tides change” he says, looking directly at my face, I am unsure of the intention behind his tone

“It’s all written in the stars, what can us mere mortals do about it?” I reply, fidgeting with my fingers

Silence creeps into the space between us for a few moments, it’s absurdly comforting, sitting next to him, I can feel his warmth, it’s familiar and safe, it feels like home….he feels like home

“I cannot believe that I’m actually about to say this, but I feel as if I have to, for my own sanity” he says

“What are you trying to say?” I reply, puzzled as ever

“I-I really wish I never left, I wish I stayed by your side, I wish I never lost the eight years I could have had with you” he says, desperation laced in his voice

I look at him with wide eyes and shock painted on my face, I have a very strange feeling that I know what he’s about to say

“Zaros, plea-“ I try to interrupt him

“No, just don’t!” he snaps

“I have felt this way for quite a while now, and sometimes, it’s all I can think about, I wish we never had that wretched fight in the first place!” He exclaims

I am left utterly speechless by his words, nothing could have ever prepared me for this

“I really wanted you to trust me more!” he adds

That sets me off, how can he ever expect me of all people to trust him? After his relentless insults and torments, he is so delusive

“Don’t start!” I snap

“What? Are you that scared of the truth?” he interrupts

“Well you have not made it easy for me, have you now?” I sneer as I jolt up, out of the bed

“What do you mean?” he replies as he gets up

“How in the name of Gods can you expect me to trust you after everything that’s happened? You agreed to contest against me, we are competing AGAINST each other or have you forgotten? How can I trust you any which ways? You are my rival!” I say with all the anger my voice can muster

“I had no.other.choice” he replies sternly

“And besides is that all I am to you? Just a rival, an enemy you want to overthrow? Or did you forget us and everything we were before our fallout, did all that mean nothing to you? You are deeply imbedded in all my memories, all my feelings, all my thoughts, there isn’t a corner in my soul where I can’t find you….you, you were everything to me, still are” he says

I want to absolutely scream at his words, he can’t just say that and the worst part is I can’t decide if I’m angry with him or yearning for him

“Please….don’t do this” I say, almost in a whisper, my voice shakes a bit

“How much longer are you going to pretend that you were never in love with me?” he snaps

I can feel my heart stop, my mind starts to fog up and I can barely breathe, a dull, crushing gust of pain swims across my chest…that is until I feel a violent rush of anger flow through me, red and fiery

“You…“ I rage

“I-I’m sorry, I went too far, I shouldn’t have-“ he says

“And you want me to “trust” you, I should’ve never come here in the first place” the hurt in my voice is evident and loud, and I might just burst into tears any second

I abruptly turn and sprint to the door, but before I can open it, he yanks my hand and pulls me to him

“I am so sorry, I know I’ve crossed way too many lines, I am a reckless fool, please forgive me, please stay” he says in the most desperate tone I have ever heard

“Give me one good reason why” I hiss

“I can’t” he replies

“I know I’ve caused you nothing but pain ever since I came back, I can see it on your face every single second, minute and hour I am near you, I have no excuse and no reason, I-I won’t force you to stay or do anything you don’t want to, but just know, how very sorry I am, for it all, we don’t even have to speak if that’s what you want, I care about you way more than I can ever express and I can’t handle seeing you so upset, I won’t hurt you, ever again, I promise, no matter what happens after the trials, it won’t change how I feel about you, nothing ever will” he says

I don’t reply, not because I don’t want to but because I just do not know how, my heart is heavy with a feeling I’d rather not feel, especially not for him, but I can not help it

“I don’t expect you to forgive me and-“

I don’t know what comes over me, but I wrap my arms around him in frantic desperation, as if he’s going to run away from me, as if I’m going to lose him all over again…

He slowly envelopes me in his arms, it’s very gentle, I can feel his heartbeat against my own, his warmth is infectiously addicting, I could practically fall asleep like this

“Don’t ever leave me, ever again, do you understand?” I assert

“I promise you with all my heart, I am never going away, my sweet earis” he replies in a soft, honeyed tone as he places a kiss on my cheek

“Zaros” I call to him as I pull away

“Yes?” He replies as he looks at me eagerly

“I have something very important to confess” I say

“What is it?” he replies as his expression grows more serious

“I am so very sorry I called you a leech” I say, not being able to hold back the mischievous smile forming on my face

At that we both erupt into laughter, and I embrace him once again, feeding off of his warmth

“And I’m sorry I called you a palace brat…though you still kind of are one” he says in a playful mocking manner

“Oh please , you love it” I reply in a calm, unbothered tone, my head resting his shoulder

“Yes, yes I do” he replies as he holds me tightly in his arms

[mrchiipchrome]

prompt 68 with KCC 😉

If you want to request, there's a prompt list linked in my masterlist:)

prompt 68. -It’s nice to have you back, where you belong.

----------------

“Ky I miss you so much” Despite having spent basically the entire summer, well winter technically, in Australia together competing in the World Cup, you missed each other tremendously the second you were apart.

“I miss you even more Y/n/n. I miss your cuddles the most though.” The sweet girl sighs out, her cheeks puffing out adorably with her chin resting on one of her forearms. She’s clutching her pillow tightly, laying on her stomach.

Letting out a loud gasp in faux shock, you chastise her playfully for the comment.

“Kyra Cooney Cross, I cannot believe you. And to think I believed you liked me for more than just my body.” Her giggles fill your bedroom in London over the phone, her bright smile on the screen contrasting the dark nature of your room.

“Well you thought wrong, I’m clearly just using you for your body.” She rolls her eyes at you, picking at her nails uninterestedly, but you can see the small smile forming behind her hands.

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say pretty girl” Her hands come up to cover her face, blush apparent between her fingers.

“You think I’m pretty?” She questions as if the answer wasn’t already obvious, her beauty just one of the many aspects you loved about her.

“You’re the most gorgeous girl in the world lovely, you always have been and you always will be.” You tell her softly, gauging her reaction.

She once again just covers her face with her hands, her smile reaching her ears. Sighing, you look at the time on your phone, being an hour behind her, it was late over there in Sweden.

“Ky, it's time to go to bed.” You say seriously, her yawn nearly cutting the last of your sentence off. She was clearly exhausted from the long days, like you were. Living without each other was a death sentence, slowly killing you both.

“Just stay on the call until I’ve fallen asleep would you? It’s so hard to sleep without you here.”

“Sure my love, but if Arsenal come knocking for ya then you have to accept, I don’t know how much longer I can live without you by my side.”

The smirk on her face only widens at your words, oh you clearly had no idea.

—----

You were unfocused, that was pretty clear for everyone to see. You were missing even the simplest of passes and you could probably store both of your boots in the bags under your eyes, dark blue and incredibly prominent.

Two sleepless nights in a row created by pure worry was why you were so unfocused. Kyra hadn’t spoken to you in days, not even as much as a text that told you she was alive, she had simply disappeared off the face of the earth.

Rubbing your eyes in an attempt to wake up that much more, the worry set deep in your mind didn’t falter the slightest bit. Not even when the comforting hand of your captain comes down to rest on your upper back, moving up and down soothingly.

“Are you okay?” She asks.

“Mhm, just a little tired.” You tell her softly, chin resting on your forearm lightly.

“Yeah, well I think Jonas has someone you might want to meet, with him.” Your head perks up, snapping towards the shorter woman, eyes wide open.

“What do you mean?” Kim just smiles at you, nodding her head to the right where a majority of the team is crowded around someone.

In between black clad bodies, you can just see the familiar outline of the person you love the most, hands waving around animatedly.

In an instant you’re on your feet, slipping and sliding across the grass in your hurry to get up from your sitting position, hands flat on the ground. When you get up on your feet properly you set off in what can only be described as a jaguar-like run, reaching the mob of people in no-time.

The girl in the middle squeals when she gets picked up all of a sudden, familiar arms wrapping around her waist from behind. The squeals turn into laughter that echoes around the training grounds, her hands clutching around yours.

“Why didn’t you call me, lovely? I was worried sick about you.” You tell her softly, hands moving from her waist to her face, moving her head around softly as if you were trying to convince yourself she was real. “I was so worried about you, don’t ever do that again please.” She gets pulled into your body once again, your arms wrapping around her tightly.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to surprise you. I won’t do it again, I promise.” She mumbles into the material of your shirt, her hands clutching onto the elastics of your shorts, fingers pressing into the skin of your stomach.

Pulling away from her body, you place your hands on her jaw, cupping her face softly. You can’t help but just look at her, admire her in such a way you hadn’t been able to in weeks.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Her nose scrunches up in that adorable way that had you falling in love with her all over again.

“Like what?” She looks up at you through furrowed brows, a light blush dusting her tanned cheeks.

“Like you’re in love with me.” Kyra whispers into the vacant air, your teammates having left you long ago.

“That’s because I am in love with you silly. Kyra?” She hums in response, waiting for you to continue. “It’s nice to have you back, where you belong.” The shorter girl buries her head into your chest, the earlier blush having darkened significantly.

“It’s nice to be back by your side too Y/n/n.”

[many-but-one]

i believe survivors of RAMCOA when they talk about the abuse they suffered, but the one thing i cannot wrap my head around is how abusers purposefully program alters? and this makes the moral ocd worms in my brain go NUTS.

i think i dont understand bc not every child who goes through severe torture/abuse will develop DID/OSDD and it feels way more probable that abusers arent attempting to make alters so much as theyre conditioning certain responses (and if a childs brain happens to split these experiences into alters then thats a byproduct that benefits the abuser).

all of this makes me feel like a bad ally to RAMCOA survivors, and while its not your job to educate me would you mind explaining how the programming alters aspect works?

[Trigger warning: talking about how programming works and why not all children who experience RAMCOA develop DID or may not end up becoming fully programmed. Brief mentions of child death. Mentions of child torture. Nothing in detail, obviously. Also talking a lot about how the deprogramming process works. If you are a programmed system yourself and you worry this could be triggering, have grounding items nearby just in case.]

Note: when I say “successfully” or “properly” programmed system, I’m talking about in the eyes of the abusers. Also, this is talking about TBMC (torture based mind control) programmers. I have to put that disclaimer because you wouldn’t believe how many confused computer programmers I’ve gotten in comment sections on other socials.

So, the reason not every child who goes through RAMCOA develops DID is because developing DID requires some pre-requisites. Things like genetic predisposition to dissociate actually do make a big difference. Also, how early the abuse started. If someone goes through RAMCOA trauma, but not until they’re older and their personality has already begun integrating (which can happen younger in some children, even as young as around age 5-7, though some researchers have said personality integration can happen as late as the teen years) it will be significantly harder to develop DID and therefore properly program the child. In addition, how much access programmers have to the child, how long they had access to the child, and how much support the child has outside of the abuse are also contributing factors.

If programmers see this kid one week out of the month, the parents don’t know about it and therefore the kid has a relatively okay home life with love and support, and they only have access to the kid for a couple years, that’s not going to be good grounds for programmers being able to properly do what they want to do. Some may still try if they don’t have access to anyone else, but this rarely creates a “successful” programmed system. Conversely, if they see the kid every day or multiple days a week, a parent is in on it/they have a bad home life where abuse (of possibly a lesser magnitude but not always) occurs, the parents are neglectful or very busy and likely to not notice things, and they have access to this kid for several years, that makes for a better chance that this kid will be properly programmed.

Because of all of these factors, programmers will often pick children who they know have parents with PTSD or CPTSD (or a dissociative disorder, if the parent has disclosed that to them), who they can access early in their life or have prior history of abuse (so are more likely to already have begun developing a dissociative disorder), and whom they have access to frequently. Sometimes, the child’s parent will be programmed by the group themselves and be born quite literally just to be programmed by the group. Some groups take great care in keeping family groups within the group because that creates stronger loyalty bonds and gives them easy access to children to program. It’s not uncommon for a group goal to be for their grown programmed systems to have kids to eventually give to the group, which is why apprehending a programmed system and having them work on deprogramming before this can happen is essential.

A lot of kids that programmers desire to program actually end up “failing out” because they aren’t able to take to the programming. Depending on the group, this could mean they will end the kid’s life or they will just stop the programming-related abuse altogether. And contrary to what most people know, even successfully programmed children have loads of failed programs, or parts that didn’t take well to programming. Most of the time these parts who have failed programming will be put in “discard areas” in the system’s inner world, and they will be either forced into dormancy or they will be stuck there until amnesia barriers eventually break down as the grown person starts to work on deprogramming (if they ever do.) A successfully programmed system’s most active parts are parts who did not fail their programming, and these are often the most well-rounded parts retrofitted with a personality that would have likely been created by the abusers.

To add: there is often layers upon layers of amnesia even in these single well-rounded parts (that often end up having an alters-in-alters subsystem, and said part might not even be aware they have one) and the “top part” or most front-facing part of that subsystem may not even be aware they are programmed. At least, until a cue happens and their program starts running and they start doing things they wouldn’t normally be doing. A lot of programmed parts don’t even know their own cues or even what traumas they have that would have created their programming. They might know they have trauma, but the memories of the programming might be missing, or the context surrounding the programming traumas might be missing. Usually these cues and context behind the traumas are hidden in EPs or fragments that are buried pretty deep within their subsystems. Accessing these EPs in therapy is integral to the deprogramming process, as learning what manipulations were done to make a programmed part believe what they do is essential in undoing it. All deprogramming really is, is showing programmed parts that what their abusers made them believe was true is a lie and that they are not at risk to be harmed anymore if they no longer have contact with the group. (Cutting off a system’s communication with the group is first and foremost what they should do when deprogramming)

As for your assumption, that abusers are trying to condition children and these experiences happen to split an alter to hold the conditioned response, you are partially right. In some cases, especially in cases where it’s a single parent or a family unit doing this to their own kids, it’s often more likely that the parent is not fully aware that they are creating a DID system. This is where the difference between programming and conditioning is important to note. We made a video about this here: link to TikTok video.

However, in larger groups, programmers do know they are creating a system. DID is not some unknown secret to much of the world, and research about it is easy to find. Even inexperienced groups can find research on DID and how alters form very easily and use that to try and create a system in a child. Whether or not they will be successful with that info alone is hard to say. I was abused by two different groups, one of them inexperienced and one of them very experienced. The initial attempts at programming were often unsuccessful, and we assume they got in contact with the experienced group to learn more and they essentially showed our main handler/programmer how it was done. (We have memories of him being taught and observing/taking part as necessary to the teachings, so this is not speculation, we know this was the case.) Once we were in the hands of the experienced group, we became very well programmed and our system’s organization changed massively. On top of that, the inexperienced group was now experienced, so we actually have alters who are programmed by two separate groups, each loyal to their own group. Some of our parts were loyal to both because they were programmed by both. (“Were” loyal because we’ve deprogrammed significantly and they no longer feel loyal to the groups anymore.)

Like I said in my initial post, programming alters is actually not that complicated on the surface, though in practice it is difficult, and to create a well programmed system takes a lot of skill and intelligence. Skilled programmers are unfortunately often incredibly smart individuals. Anyone who’s been willing to speak with me about their programmers often cite them as being people with high level college degrees. Doctors, engineers, mathematicians, scientists, psychologists. If not a college degree, they often work in areas like police work, political work, religious ministry, or other city/county/state positions. If none of these, they (horrifyingly) tend to work in areas where children are often present. Pediatric doctors/nurses, summer camp counselors, Sunday school teachers, daycare attendants, nannying jobs, teaching, etc. While not all programmers will fit this bill, a lot of them do. In the world outside of their programming job, they are often well-liked by their community. This is not to say everyone in these positions is a programmer, also. Want to make that REALLY clear. Not every person with this job has a secret side job of torturing kids, these just happen to be common areas they tend to gravitate toward. They are often thrill-seeking sadists and egocentric. Having a position in their community in which they are consistently recognized for their accomplishments or adored is often important to them. Sometimes, programmers are also programmed themselves, especially in large groups with generational aspects involved.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m not going to explain in explicit detail how programming works because that doesn’t make me comfortable to share, but a very dumbed down version of it is pretty simple:

1) torture child to create alter splits

2) get one of these splits to front via triggers related to the torture that caused them to split

3) indoctrinate them with a behavior or action that, if they do not do that action, means they will be punished further. While they are doing said action/being indoctrinated with certain beliefs, have a specific trigger or cue present so that when they see that trigger/cue in the future, they will immediately do the action/enforce the beliefs they have been taught.

4) repeat steps 1-3, basically.

This is why I explained that programming is kind of like conditioning on steroids. Except the child is severely manipulated, tortured, and has extreme threats of harm to self or others to reinforce it, and this is done repeatedly, to the point where it causes the alter extreme duress if they do not do their assigned task because if they didn’t do their task in the past (in childhood) they would be tortured or would have to witness other children be tortured. They will fully believe if they do not do the thing, they or others WILL be hurt, and they believe the programmers WILL know if they don’t, so they often just do it automatically in efforts to avoid the punishment they believe is coming. It is extremely hard for them to override the emotional flashbacks, somatic flashbacks, etc, if they try to resist doing the task. Adding onto that, programmers will often create alters who will punish parts in the inner world the same way the abusers would if they do not do their task, so that is another layer of fear on top of that. These programmed parts often cannot distinguish the difference between outer world torture and inner world torture, as they rarely get contact with the outside world except to do their tasks. So if they don’t do their task, they will be punished by alters in the inner world space and they may fully believe they are being punished in real life. Creating safe spaces for alters to go in the inner world if they don’t do their assigned task is an important part of deprogramming. Because once an alter realizes they will not be punished both externally and internally by not doing a certain action, they will be much less inclined to do said action.

If all of that sounds extremely messed up and fucks with your moral OCD, you’re right to feel that way. It is messed up. These people are vile, fucked up, and cruel. They often do not see the children as human beings and care not of how much this damages the child physically, psychologically, and emotionally. These children are dehumanized beyond belief. Many programmed parts of a system do not see themselves as human unless they were specifically meant to be human. Commonly created alters are things with no free will or no ability to think for themselves, such as angels, robots, and inanimate objects. If a child truly believes they cannot think for themselves, it will be harder to deprogram them. Which is why deprogramming often involves teaching the grown system that they are allowed to make choices outside of their group’s desires and control. It is not easy.

For those that read this and are feeling dissociated and/or anxious, remember your grounding techniques. Get some mints, cinnamon candies, or sour candies and munch. Smell a strong scented candle. Hold some ice or hand warmers in your hands. Look around the room and pick out items that you recognize to be from the present. Pet a cat/dog/[insert animal here] or hug a stuffed animal. Remember, it is currently 2024 and you are safe. Your abusers will not know you read this unless you tell them yourself. You are brave, capable, and safe. I believe in you and your healing journey.

Take care, everyone.

[cupiddior]

NANA — huh yunjin

WARNING — fluff, swearing

★☆

huh yunjin was conflicted.

she’s never liked someone so much, like she feels like it’s actually concerning how much she likes you.

you’re the leader of new jeans just two years younger, she never thought that she would actually like someone younger than her and despite you being younger than her you actually intimidate the hell out of her.

she just thinks that the way you got so popular so quickly is a little scary I mean global vivienne westwood ambassador only five months after debut ?!

that’s crazy.

should she also mention that you’re her best friend jimin’s little sister ?

“oh my god.” yunjin looks up as he best friend dramatically flops at the end of her bed. “yn is driving me crazy.”

yunjin stomach turns just at your name. “how ?” she asks.

jimin sits up and looks at her. “I’ve seen my little sister’s face my whole life, and I love yn but when I become an idol it was a little nice to have a break from her, but now I see her face EVERYWHERE I mean billboards, poster, on my social media.”

as jimin continues to rant about you, yunjin gets lost in her thoughts I mean jimin wasn’t wrong your face was everywhere not that yunjin was complaining she loves seeing your face, well sorta, how is she supposed to try to get over her best friends little sister if she sees her everywhere ?

“BUSES I MEAN BUSES YUN.” yunjin snaps out of her thoughts as jimin finally stops her ranting.

“but that’s besides the point, I was talking to her this morning and why didn’t you tell me you guys were doing a duet on kbs ?” we are ? “she told me her manager told her this morning.”

“uhhh…” yunjin trails off trying to find an answer did her manager tell her and she just wasn’t paying attention ? probably

“that doesn’t matter.” jimin cut her off. “ I came here to tell you no funny business.”

“what do you mean ?”

jimin let’s out a deep sigh “I MEAN no funny business, no flirting, no touching no nothing, just singing, I know how you are yunjin.”

“I cannot have my best friend dating my little sister, first you’re the only thing I have that she doesn’t and also if something happens I’d be put in the middle.”

she then wraps her arms around yunjin. “ so no funny business right ?”

“yeah.”

“so what songs do you have in mind ?”

yunjin heart flutters as you smile at her.

she’s so pretty

I wonder how it would be if we were dating

“um hello ?” you wave your hand in her face.

“um sorry.” yunjin stutters as she scrambles to get her notebook, her cheek heating up in embarrassment.

“it’s okay.” you laugh, you look down at her notebook. “so, have any ideas?”

“um so I wrote down some songs like, kingston by faye, lover by taylor we could also do gorgeous by Taylor.”

“so love songs ?” you ask cutting off her rambling.

“um no..” yunjin trails off looking at her notebook. “there’s… uhh… yeah love songs.”

“sorry.”

“no it’s okay I was just teasing you.”

“you could tease me anytime you want.”

“what ?”

“huh, what ? nothing, i didn’t say anything.”

“um okay.” you laugh. “how about we do the last one on your list.”

yunjin looks at the last song and her face heats up “sofia ? are you sure.”

“I’m sure.” you say “I’ve listen to it sometimes it’s a good song to cover.”

“yea okay, sure let’s do it.”

you and her spent the rest of the next couple weeks splitting up lines and practicing and yunjin felt herself falling for you even more.

today was the day you guys actually film the duet.

“I’m nervous.” she whispers to you.

“don’t be.” you wrap your arms around her’s “we will do amazing especially you.”

wow are you trying to kill her.

“really.”

“I wouldn’t be saying it if I didn’t believe what I was saying.”

“actually.” you turn away from her and and pick up a little box. “I have something for you.” you give the box to her.

yunjin brushes her fingers over the lettering on the box Vivienne Westwood.

she opens the box to see two necklaces, obviously it was the icon westwood planets but hanging on one was a little strawberry and the other had a black star.

I’m in love could she get any better ?

“they’re for both me and you.” you say as you pick up the one with the strawberry hanging on it. “help me put it on.”

yunjin gently puts the necklace on you turning herself around implying she wants you to put hers on as well.

after you finish putting hers on, you turn her around and wrap your arms around her.

yunjin freezes.

“no touching” it’s not like I’m the one touching her so it shouldn’t matter right ?

“are you ready?” you ask her, letting her go.

“yep.”

“good.” you grab one of her hands and pull to to the set. “let’s do this.”

yeah let’s do this

the cover was a hit, fans were going crazy over not only the song choice but the necklaces ? thats what confused yunjin weren’t they just cute necklaces with charms ?

NEW JEANS YN AND LESSERAFIMS YUNJIN GO VIRAL OVER COUPLE NECKLACES.

the duo was seen in their hit cover wearing vivienne Westwood’s new exclusive couple NANA necklaces.

fans were already spiralling about the song choice but the necklaces are just the icing on the cake.

which leaves us wondering are is the yn of newjeans dating lesserafims yunjin ?

I guess they weren’t.

yn you sneaky little shit.

“YOU’RE DATING YN UNNIE.” eunchae barges into yunjin room.

“NO.”

“then why are you guys wearing exclusive couple necklaces ?” eunchae asks her facial expression says I just caught you in a lie.

ding (yunjin’s phone.)

“I’ll explain later.” yunjin pushes eunchae out her room and locks the door ignoring eunchae protests.

yunjin picks up at the phone and her heart drops.

jimin bae 😜

sofia by clairo ? couple necklaces?

oh shit

[danistartt]

When Worlds Collide (it is Wonderful)- Dani Rojas

pairings: dani rojas x reader, the richmond team warnings: nervous reader, language about: request! dani introducing you to the team

Dani is ecstatic. He’s been ecstatic for three days and pre-ecstatic for two, grinning at you brazenly when he remembers today.

You… aren’t, so much.

You should’ve told him, you think as he leads you inside the Richmond building, chattering away excitedly about each member of the team. He mentions how nice Sam is and you’re reminded of how much he loves them. You stop abruptly, Dani tugging on your arm when he fails to notice.

He turns back to you and cocks his head in the sweet puppy way he does, saying your name in question. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m nervous,” you blurt.

“I thought you were excited?” he asks, stepping closer. You stare up at him worriedly and squeeze his hand.

“I was. I am. I want to meet them, they’re important to you, but that’s why I’m so nervous, too.” Your eyes round in concern. “What if they hate me? They’re a big part of your life and if they hate me, I—”

“Why would they hate you?” he wonders incredulously. “Mi amor, I do not think anyone could hate you.”

“But what if they do?” you insist. “What if I’m actually awful and I’ve trapped you with my siren song without even knowing?” you whimper.

“No,” Dani murmurs, wrapping his arms around you. You melt on contact, the unbelievable heat of him immensely comforting. “You do not have a siren song. And if you do, then I do not mind. They will love you.”

“You don’t know that.��

“I do. I talk about you all the time and I love you. If they are not at least a little in love with you already, I will be surprised.” Dani smiles at your stilted laugh. “They told me they were excited to meet you.”

“I don’t want to disappoint them. Or you.”

Dani pulls away to make sure you’re looking him in the eyes. “You could not. Even if you tried really, really hard.”

Your face crumples.

Dani panics. “Did I say something?”

“Yes,” you cry, pulling him back to you. You raise a hand up to your eyes and wipe away your fear. Taking a deep breath, you nod. “I’m ready,” you tell him, standing up straight and squaring your shoulders.

“Wonderful,” he says pleasantly, picking right back up where he left off. “Coach Roy screams a lot, but he is very kind. He has a niece named Phoebe who he brought one day and gave us all friendship bracelets.” His own drags against the hand he holds, a bubblegum bead at the end of thick string bouncing on your wrist. “Jamie, of course, is my best friend.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to meet them all.”

“I cannot wait either,” he says, very nearly bouncing on his heels. “This is like two of my favorite worlds colliding into one big, even more wonderful world.”

You chortle, squeezing his hand.

“All the coaches are there. Coach Lasso was very excited about meeting you. I think he got cupcakes.”

“Really?” you ask.

“I talk about you a lot.”

Another squeeze, desperate to send a loving spark up his arm. You think it reaches when he squeezes back.

You both pause outside the door, staring at the doorknob. Dani buzzes in your hand, but he glances up at you, soft eyes wonderful and kind. “Do not worry, okay? Javier is much tougher than them and he liked you a lot.”

You nod. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

When Dani pushes the door open, you are not prepared for the silence. You expect what you think is common of a locker room—loud guy noises, strewn exhausted footballers. Instead, you find all the thirty-something footballers standing straight in a very organized line, the coaches standing in front of what you assume is the office. One holds a small, pink box in his hands, a carton of cupcakes against his hip.

“Hello,” you say awkwardly, glancing at each face that stares back at you.

“Dani!” One bellows happily. “We were waitin’ for ya, bruv.”

“Yeah,” another chimes, “we was standin’ here for, like, five minutes.”

“Good impressions,” one at the far end chimes in.

Dani is glowing, agreeing with everything they’re saying. “This is my amor,” he says proudly, presenting you to the team. They stare for a second before the room erupts in elated noise, men coming up to you to tell you varying introductions. You catch some names and recognize some faces, trying your best to keep up with each person.

“Oi!” Someone yells, the team quieting and parting for the source of the voice. Low, bushy brows atop a dark beard introduce you to Roy. “Will we show some fucking manners?” He smiles at you a little gruffly and offers you a hand, the blue tail of a bracelet matching Dani’s swinging lightly against your wrist. “I’m Roy.”

“I’ve heard,” you reply, accepting. His handshake is as firm as you’d expect.

“So’ve we,” he tells you.

“Hi there,” Treats Man says, peeking over Roy’s shoulder with a friendly wave. “I’m Ted. That’s Coach Beard over there.” He gestures to a man off to the side, arms crossed across his chest. He offers you a nod. “We hear you’re with our little ray of sunshine, huh?”

You’re inclined to agree. “I’ve heard a lot. About everyone. I didn’t expect such a… big hello. Dani said I’d just come by after practice and put some voices to faces.”

“Nah. We showered and everythin’,” a player says proudly. “Isaac said we should.”

The man who had first spoken ducked his chin in agreement.

“Thank you,” you laugh.

“Are you impressed?” a man with short hair asks.

“Definitely.”

They all cheer, must to Roy’s dismay.

Dani takes this as a cue to start speaking, pointing players out and telling you their names. Sam smiles at you warmly and gives you a hug. Jamie nods at you, Colin tells you about one of the things Dani’d said about you, Moe kisses your hand, and Zoreaux says Dani hadn’t done you justice. Even Rebecca Welton comes down to meet you, offering free box seats for the next game. 

You become very well aware that the team may already know you better than you had thought. Dani seems pleased about this fact. You can’t find it in yourself to be upset.

At the end of the meet, you realize every member of the team wears a colorful bracelet. You kind of can’t wait to get yours.